“A Positive No”

I stare blankly on a page

Trying to form words not out of rage

From my heart which spoke out again

Reminding me such feeling I can’t explain

So I tried to practice metacognition

To know what’s in you that keeps me in motion

Memories of me and you started to flash

Specifically to the moment which giggles both of us

I did ask you what neckties can do

You puzzled your face looking for a clue

Trying to fit everything, hardly you do

Luckily you didn’t know it until I showed it to you

Should I say favour was on my side?

Or it’s just you want to let go as well what you felt inside?

As romantic can lovers do to whom they loved

I did it without you seeing it bad

I smiled with that thought and realized

Time flew fast but we had seized it to last

A sweet memory we had built sometime

A throw back of our days so fine

I sighed and slouch on my chair

It took a while for me to see it clearer

Was I like a falling leaf on your ground?

Or was it just a friendly affection I didn’t understand?

You have summoned me in words

That it’s time to bring it to our next life’ episode

I tried to digest everything and absorb

But I’m afraid I couldn’t do what it should

I have to say “forgive me, I can’t grant

what you’ve been longing inside your heart”

It’s not because I don’t feel the way you do

It’s just I’m afraid we’ll just earned blue

There are things we must hold dear

And focus on as we continue our trail

It may be hard but I know we can

It’s the best we can do while were around

Tell me I’m coward enough to take such risk

But I can’t sacrifice what I think is best

I’d rather take such pain knowing I can still be with you

Than reminisce excruciating moments and losing someone like you.

I took a deep breath and wipe such tears

Rushing running down on such a lovely face

There are few open doors we have to consider

Trust me, it will be for the better.

Maybe it was by chance our roads met

But I believe it’s a choice we won’t regret

To settle in each others’ heart until our time runs out

And make the best of it entwined with an eros love

I infer not all “yes” in life brings happiness

Nor all “wait” could train one’s patience

Meanwhile “no” doesn’t always compliments negative

Because like now, it holds on to what we believed.

Teardrops

Like the rain falling from the sky

The pain you feeling just won't die

Because every time you close your eye

It was her who flashes out so you cry

How then can you feel good?

When you know, that person is the antidote

Of the loneliness that embraces you

How could that person made you feel blue?

This teary eye and weary heart

Are proof of once was master of art

A kind of an output where something was torn

Afraid to be sold, afraid of duplication.

Melted Feeling

It's hard when you've found out at times

You're already not the reason for her smiles

Not even the apple of her eyes

Nor the definition of what's nice

No matter how hard you try to connect the tie

It just loose up on it's own, I sigh

'Coz similarly it's how our connection had gone

With a blink, all was turned without bond?

How can I move forward?

When it's you who keeps me going?

Please tell me, what can I do?

To make me get over from you?

Blame me for feeling this way

But you can't slap this words I say

It was just I want you to be happy

Even though it will make my heart gloomy

They say all of these shall come to pass

I just have to let go of the memory of "us"

I hope your happy now with your chosen person

And give the love I gave you without pretension.

Setting Aside

I saw you in a crowded room

In a way you should've not ever known

A glimpse of you tickles me

Seeing you're around I'm in glee

Your fine face like an angel

Your charming appearance I can tell

Makes me fell into a trap of an illusion

I'm afraid it's a one-sided affection

Every time you speak or smiled

I can't help it, I'm petrified

About what you say, I can't hide

This feeling just won't subside

I thought it was only me

But I found out my friend feels the same way

I don't want to share an attention

If it would make things hard from now on

I guess I'm dropping this selfish emotion

And just admire you, be an inspiration

But I will not let my heart caught upon you again

Because I don't want to lose my very best friend.

Distant Stars

Starring at you from a far

Is like seeing a shinning star

You glow unlike no other can do

Revealing a minute detail of you

Though I may be a wanderer

Looking for a purpose somewhere

No regret I had,

Meeting you, I am glad

A friend you are to me

Not a question I'm at glee

Because you don't just say

But act out the right, right away

So what more can I demand?

You're given without command

I'll stay to be your nearest star

Though now, apart we are.

Until when?

Live life for once and sustain;

the waves of troubles in this challenging game.

A moment to wisely decide;

which and what to fight.

Was it all about you? or me?

Whose pathways are crooked

 I should say

But when will you stand proudly

to proclaim the gifts you have uniquely?

Will you just bury it on the ground?

Leave your soil uncultivated down?

Time may slips away, don't frown

So get up and be a blessing to everyone.

Version 2.0 times 10 to the power of 1

What life has to offer me when I grow old?

I just turned 20! Dalawang dekada narin akong nabubuhay, nangangarap, umamaasa, nagmamahal.. charot! hahaha.. I was happy God extended my year. I have something to accomplish yet. He's not yet done with me. Thank you Lord! Amen!

How did my birthday turned out to be happy?

My morning starts to shine with.... a greeting from my best friend! (how sweet!) Bakit? kasi.. magkatabi kaming natulog.. hahah.. effort much to disturb me from my sweet dreams. I was happy she was around during that day despite of her class by morning. An hour after I guess, my mother woke me up and greeted me with my father over the phone. CHECK! haha checklist lang? I have read some heartily made letter from my neices and it actually touches my heart. (the left side was from bbrose and the other from mackie)

       

and ofcouse a kulet neice... gipukaw jud ko ani niya... With bbnestle on my bed

Me @ 20

 

                 

My heart speaks Gratitude

          I actually planned not to prepare for a celebration during this birthday but my mother insisted as a thanksgiving for a year extension. I have appreciated my mother and fathers effort to make my day special and I thanked them a lot. Though everyday I can feel and see they cared but it's just that when it's your birthday has a special effect on you. Well true for me. Hehe.. But it's not a big deal to all aspects of my life.

         Aside from these gifts, I highly appreciated the greeting form my friends. When they remember you, that  means you have something shared to them which make them do such. I want to post something I have received from a friend who's effort I highly appreciated.

        As I grew older by age (not by face.. haha), I begin to appreciate material gifts does not count that much. Maybe because, I'm a type of a person who count efforts neither big or small especially if it is heartily given. I thanked God I grew to develop this kind of behavior. I we everything to Him. This stage of my life may seem to cater me much more challenges than before. I may be crushed, disappointed, stressed and discouraged. But, I will strive hard to stand up, until I'm finish.